Kanafinwë Makalaurë (calm_soul) wrote in gnutssockdrawer,
Kanafinwë Makalaurë

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*written in her clear minstrel's hand*

What game are you playing, Turu? I may trust you with my life, but I don't trust your intentions. Why have you put Ecthelion in my path? You knew I would be attracted to him. Who wouldn't be, since he is attractive as the night sky? But what do you want me to do, Turu? Where's your money? Do you want me to fuck him? To frighten him? How do I win this game?

He confuses me. I want him so badly. It's not fair, Turu. Do you want me to prove to you that I'm a slut like you? I won't. I'm not.

He's sweet, though, and loves music. He reminds me in some ways of Turu and in others of some of my brothers, but he is still completely another person as well. And he knows, Eru, he knows. Turu told him everything. And still? He came back. He caressed my skin as though it were worth touching and not the dirty thing it is. He kissed me like I were something worth wanting.

This is a strange infatuation. He's distractingly beautiful but there's more to him. Turu trusts him with his life. More, Turu trusts him with my life. What does this mean? What am I supposed to see in all this?

I need to think.
Tags: mags, paper journal
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